The Incredible Power of Negativity
Negativity and negative conversations can have a huge impact on how we feel and act – both at work and in our home lives.
Let’s start with Negative conversations and consider what we can do and why, then move onto negative culture, environment and the impact.
I am sure we have all experienced a time when a conversation has gone like this
- Intro – 2 minutes
- Good stuff – 2 minutes
- Bad stuff – 30 minutes
- Good stuff – 2 minutes
How did this feeling leaving the conversation? Terrible, right? What do you remember about the conversation? The bad stuff?
Of course, this is all you remember.
So we all agree this isn’t a positive conversation and doesn’t help get to the point we are all trying to achieve – a fun, exciting, supportive place to be – fulfilling our creative and intellectual needs and working towards a common goal. So how can we change, bearing in mind difficult conversations do sometimes have to be had?
- Before you start, think about the point you are trying to get across.
- Consider how you frame the point, the language and tonality you use plays a huge part in this.
- Don’t turn it into an argument, let the person respond and listen to what they are saying and the way they are saying it – use that emotional intelligence you have worked so hard on!
- Social summary of what they have said.
- Reply calmly, control the conversation and don’t keep hammering the point across – ask if they understand the reasons and the impact.
- How are they going to ensure changes are made and sustained? Discuss accountability and roles in the change, who is there to support them?
I think this covers conversations, how many times do you consider these points before speaking with someone? It is a conscious effort we have to make, recently I have stopped saying ‘No problem’ and started saying ‘Of course’. It completely changes the flow of conversation. If there is anything you want to add/discuss, let me know in the comments. With that, let’s move on.
Negativity breeds negativity. An environment as closely knit as a workplace (for example) can be hugely influenced by one or many team members. Negativity is a mindset which can be easily changed – if you know how. It’s up to every individual to demonstrate the positive behaviours they want to see and feel in their lives and the people around them. How?
- Language – The language you use on a day to day basis is a large representation of who you are. Change it up, be positive, be encouraging, be enthusiastic.
- Notice – Pick up on the great things people do, let them know they have done something awesome! It doesn’t have to be a huge gesture, a ‘well done, you made it really easy for that customer’ will do. Side note, it also really helps make the constructive conversations a lot easier.
- Reflect – take time out of the day to reflect. Reflect on your workday in the car before you get home. Reflect on what you have said, think about how you might have made another person feel.
By thinking about these simple steps you have already started to make a change in your outlook on life (well done!) The key point to mindset change though, is sustained. These points need to be practised and practised in order for them to be engrained in your behaviours. The great thing is, other people will notice your change and up their game to reflect you – its win, win!
Positivity in mindset, behaviours, language and actions can have a huge impact on our personal lives, business environments and the results we and our teams achieve. It would be great to hear the changes you have/are making to shift towards positive conversations and purpose and the results of this.